Nudes and Prudes


Today the Montana legislature turns it’s eagle-like vision toward a problem that has plagued humanity since the days of the Garden of Eden – genitalia, and the inability to maintain a level of decorum when presented with the family jewels. HB365 is a blatant attempt by the pruderies to conceal the human body in ways best left for the Sharia courts of foreign lands, not for the land of the free, home of the brave.

If you can’t handle something as innocuous as the Naked Bike Ride, or the No Pants Subway rides, you need to get therapy, not pass laws. The human body is not a weapon, and shouldn’t be feared.

The people pushing these laws are the supposed prim and propers who spend upwards of  80% of their time thinking about naked people, people having sex, genitalia, and gays doing whatever it is they think gays do (rearrange the living room while indulging in the kinkiest of sex – the leather makes them do it – one surmises from the insanity they spout). They think a nipple can assault you from 50 meters away. They believe that a penis is more dangerous than a pistol, and would like everyone owning one to register it as a deadly weapon.

The penis. They are against any registration for pistols.

The complete disregard for servicing the actual needs of the citizenry of Montana is on full display today as they attend to this non-issue. Montanans deserve better, but alas, they haven’t voted for what they actually deserve.

It’s all quite exhausting to watch, and engorges a thirst only quenched by a whiskey. Today, we suggest a Roughstock Montana Black Label served neat. Maybe take two.

–E. C. Bourbon